Can't We Share Him?
by Lonestarr
Summary: Some guys have all the luck.


Disclaimer: …oh, who even reads these things?! The disclaimers, I mean, not the stories. Not that the stories aren't read. It…never mind.

Tucker took a breath as he walked up the front steps of Fenton Works. He couldn't wait to see Jazz again. The girl - his crimson-haired angel, as he came to regard her - had captured his heart. She was smart, funny and had a kind heart. As he shared those traits, and had charm coming out of his ears, he felt that he could be a good match for her in time.

Unfortunately for him, she was more focused on her studies than any romantic entanglements. What's more, Jazz saw Tucker as little more than her brother's goofy, wise-cracking, technology-obsessed friend. He wanted so much to prove her misconceptions false, and he hoped, time and again, that he would have enough time in which to do so.

For now, however, his teenaged hormones were racing through his body like cars in the Indy 500. He pulled a cylinder out of his pocket and stared at the label.

Like a huge part of the population, Tucker had seen those ridiculous commercials. The ones where guys were wearing body spray and, as a result, women - attractive ones, naturally - were all over them like red on a fire engine.

As he rang the doorbell, he reflected on the commercials. He and Danny saw them…and laughed themselves silly; as if something like that could have an effect on women.

A couple of days ago, Tucker bought a few cans of Tag body spray. Even though he cited curiosity when Danny asked him, the truth was that he secretly hoped that it would work.

And work it did! He sprayed Danny with some earlier that day. The girls at Casper High mauled him, smothering him with kisses and affection. If ever there was a definition for tough love, it was surely this.

Tucker smiled to himself. He knew that Danny was heading for Sam's house and decided to see him there. Just as he walked in, Tucker blasted him with the can in his hand. If anything, this had to create some leeway in the burgeoning relationship between his two friends.

The boy lifted the can and eased his finger on the button, ready to spray.

The door opened. As Tucker caught the sight of light blue, he pocketed the can.

"Tucker? What are you doing here?" It was Maddie Fenton, who cut quite a fetching figure in her blue hazmat suit.

"I'm here to…see Danny." He smiled nervously. He knew full well that Danny wasn't here.

"Well, Danny's not here, I'm afraid." As she said this, Maddie pulled her hood off and slipped her goggles around her neck. Her shoulder-length brown hair and piercing violet eyes marked her as someone a good deal younger than her early 40s.

"Aw. You don't mind if I wait here for him, do you?" Tucker shot a glance up the stairs. "Maybe upstairs?"

"Oh, not at all. But be sure not to disturb Jasmine. She's studying in her room."

Jackpot! Tucker's angel _was_ here. He pumped his fist. Maddie, missing the gesture, walked toward the downstairs lab.

"I tell you, with Jazz studying and Danny and Jack gone, this place is so quiet…"

Tucker pulled out the tiny can. He desired to make things loud.

As he ascended the stairs, he sprayed himself, practically encasing himself in a fog of chemicals.

He gave a gentle knock on Jazz's door. No answer. He knocked again, but with more authority.

Tucker could hear an annoyed groan from the other side of the door.

The door flew open. "What _is_ it?!" Jazz's livid expression only slightly wavered.

Tucker waved nervously. "Hey, Jazz."

"Tucker. What are you doing here?"

"I was thinking, you know, maybe…we could…hang out…you know?"

"Tucker, I'm kind of in the middle of something, okay? I don't really have the time to talk."

As the boy turned away and sighed, Jazz couldn't help but sniff the air around him. The pungent aroma made its way into her nose. She started to slump a little. A smile formed that threatened to split her face in half.

"Tuck…" …felt a hand on his arm. "Come in for a little bit." Her words were sensuous, if a little slurred.

XxXxXxXxX

The boy smiled as Jazz threw him onto her bed, where a number of textbooks and notebooks were open.

She crawled onto him…and slowly licked his face.

Tucker shook his head. "Wow. That's new."

"You talk too much." Jazz pressed her lips to his. It wasn't the first time that Tucker had heard that expression, nor was it the first time he heard it from her. At the moment, the things Jazz said didn't matter as long as she was the one saying them.

Tucker shifted his body a little. "Any chance we can do something about the bed? The three rings are digging into my back."

Jazz tossed her hair back. "No problem, sweetness." She grabbed him by his shirt front and kissed his nose as she swept her books and notes off of the bed in one fluid motion.

The boy felt himself tossed onto the bed and Jazz tossed onto him.

She removed his glasses and resumed kissing him. Tucker was surprised, to say the least, but pleased. Ever since a couple of months ago, this is all he'd ever wanted: he and Jazz making out like wild animals. She let out a moan, alerting him to her elation.

The door opened suddenly. "Is everything all right? I heard a…noise." Maddie's jaw dropped. Jazz glanced toward the door.

"Mom! Hi. I wa…we were only…I mean, what--"

"What has gotten into you?" Maddie didn't wait for an answer. She grabbed Tucker's hand and pulled him up from the bed.

"Tucker!" Jazz reached her hand out.

XxXxXxXxX

"I cannot believe what just happened", Maddie groused as she took Tucker down the stairs. She turned to him. "I'm so sorry, Tucker."

"Oh, that's okay, Mrs. Fenton. It wasn't…so bad."

As the young man passed in front of her, Maddie gave him a cautionary whiff. Her face twitched; it wasn't the nicest smell in the world. As it worked its way into her olfactory senses, she started to smile. The once-powerful odor had become fresh-cut flowers crossed with cookies being baked. An almost dopey grin formed on the woman's face.

"Even girls as studious and repressed as Jazz can get a little…impulsive." Maddie started to fan herself, as if it were over a hundred degrees in the living room. (Of course, wearing her hazmat suit all the time, she felt like that fairly often.) The edge that she put into the last word completely escaped Tucker.

"It's all right."

Maddie's dopey grin transmogrified into a Cheshire Cat smirk. "Say, Tucker, would you mind helping me in the lab?"

"Um, sure."

XxXxXxXxX

Tucker walked down the staircase. He glanced out at the lab. Everything seemed to be in its place.

"Um, it looks like everything is where it should be. I don't see any inventions or experiments out." He looked back at Maddie who was still at the top of the stairs. She pulled a key out of the door. "Why do you need my help?" The woman's only response was dropping the key down the front of her suit.

Tucker slowly backed away. Maddie matched him step for step. He stepped off of the last stair and backed right into a file cabinet.

"Mrs. Fenton?"

Undoing her zipper, she leapt at him and grabbed his arms. "Call me Madeline", she said, her voice much lower and raspier than Tucker was used to.

"Mrs.--"

"Madeline!"

"Madeline. I don't think this is right."

The woman started to pout. "Tucker…" With her index finger, she traced a figure eight on his shirt. "…why in the world wouldn't this be right?"

"Well, first of all, you're Danny's mom!" And at the moment, with her willing attitude and pleasing figure, she definitely had it goin' on.

Maddie took her hands from Tucker's arms. Before he could run six inches, she grabbed his wrist, holding him. With her free hand, she removed his beret. "Oh, Tuck. Don't think of me as

Danny's mother. Think of me as his slightly older, but still greatly attractive - and available - sister."

"But you're not available! You're a married woman!"

"Jack." As if snapping out of a trance, Maddie recited her spouse's name.

Tucker nodded his head and tried to pull his arm free. "That's right. Your husband, Jack."

Maddie waved her hand. "Oh, he'll understand. He's very understanding."

Fear filled Tucker's face as he tried to run. He tripped over his own shoes and landed face up on the floor, his limbs akimbo.

Maddie clamped his arms on the floor. Even for a woman her age, Tucker had to admit that she was pretty strong.

"You shouldn't fight me, Tuck." Maddie giggled, sounding very much like a teenager. "I'm sure you'll enjoy being my…boyfriend." From his point of view, the woman's face was upside-down. Her gorgeous violet eyes met his frightened green ones.

A loud knock at the door interrupted the reverie.

__

"Mom!"

"Damn!"

"Jazz!"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie", Maddie stated, slipping flawlessly into a motherly tone. "Everything's fine."

"No, it's not. Your mom--" Tucker was cut off by a pair of beautiful lips mashed against his. If not for the fact that the woman kissing him was his best friend's mom, holding him against his will and - worst of all - married, the technophile could've seen himself enjoying this. Almost out of instinct (…which came from practice kissing his pillow), Tucker put a hand on the back of Maddie's head, deepening the kiss.

A pounding noise came from the door. Maddie came up for air and panted. "Oh, you are good."

At the top of the stairs, the door fell down and slid down, crashing into the file cabinet.

Maddie angrily stared at her daughter. "Jasmine Delilah Fenton!" The redhead simply stood with her hands folded. "That door is coming out of your allowance!"

"It's worth it." Jazz rushed down the stairs. Tucker, feeling somewhat dazed, felt himself get picked up. "How dare you take the man of my dreams away from me!"

Maddie grabbed Tucker's arm. "He's the man of my dreams!"

"No, mine." Jazz grabbed the other arm. As Tucker felt himself tugged like a doll being fought over by two spoiled girls, he longed for the good times of a few minutes ago, when a simple application of body spray was all that stood between him and Jazz's unconditional love.

"Ladies!" The women continued to pull. Tucker tried to wrest himself free. "Can't we come to some kind of understanding?"

Jazz looked to be thinking it over. "Mom, Tucker's right." Maddie glanced at her. "If we keep pulling on him like this, he won't be any good to us."

"You make a good point, dear. I mean, can't we share him?"

"I like that idea."

"So, how are we going to settle this?"

Maddie didn't notice that Jazz was slipping her hands under his arms. "Well, since I saw him first, I should get first crack!" The girl scooped Tucker in her arms and ran as fast as she could up the stairs.

The woman hurried after her. "Jasmine, you bring him back right now!"

"Sorry, old lady! This chocolate éclair is mine all mine!" Jazz giggled, making sure to avoid hitting any furniture as she ran. Maddie, on the other hand, cleared the items in the manner of an Olympic gymnast.

XxXxXxXxX

Jazz slammed the door of her room and panted heavily. Reaching her hand up, she felt around for the knob and locked the door.

__

"Jasmine, either you open this door or I kick it to splinters!"

"Don't worry. She won't bother _us_, again", the redhead cooed. She planted several kisses all over Tucker's face. The boy started to reconsider what he'd done: using an expensive - and foul-smelling - spray to manipulate the emotions of a girl to whom he felt a genuine attraction.

He knew that Danny was visiting Sam. Tucker was sure that his best friend was doing fine.

XxXxXxXxX

Danny glanced about the beautifully designed bathroom. He wasn't exactly a connoisseur of latrines, but he didn't have much of a choice. Focusing on the person in front of him could've proved fatal to his relationship with Sam.

"Mrs. Manson, I--"

"I told you. Call me Pamela." Danny was used to seeing the woman before him in a conservative manner; nice clothing, hair done up. However, the sex-starved creature before him was like a woman possessed. Her strawberry blonde hair, usually in a bun, hung from her head in an unkempt fashion. Also, beads of sweat seemed to form out of nowhere, sticking her hair to her head.

Danny backed up against the counter, inadvertently knocking off several neatly placed bottles and jars. The boy looked down at the mess. He crouched down. "Oh, silly me. Why don't I just clean those up for you?"

Exerting what felt like no effort, Pamela grabbed the boy by the scruff of his shirt and stood him up. "Danny, Danny, Danny…" The woman shook her head. "Danny. That's why we have servants. It's what they live for…just as I live for you."

"But what about Sam?"

"My daughter? She was never your type, anyway; always so angry."

"What about Mr. Manson?"

"Oh, he'll understand. And the best part? I signed a prenup."

Danny nodded his head, pretending to know what she was talking about. "Right. Um, do you think I could grab a couple of those sugar cookies I saw in the kitchen?"

Pamela tugged at her blouse. "How 'bout these cookies, sugar?" She ripped her blouse open, revealing a still-impressive chest nestled in a navy blue bra.

"I…I…" Danny tugged at his collar, leering and blocking his view of the woman's breasts. He grew short of breath. "Is it hot in here?"

"You need to cool off." She opened her arms and grabbed him. In a flash, Danny sidestepped her and went intangible.

"Ladies first."

Pamela fell to the floor. She looked around, but the boy was gone. She hit her hand on the floor. "Oh, pooh."

XxXxXxXxX

Jazz continued to lavish affection on the nervous boy. Tucker put his hands up.

"Jazz!"

"What is it, Tuck?"

"I think we need to take it easy."

A few more kisses. "But why?"

"Well…" The boy knew that, whatever he told her, it had to be satisfactory. Under the spray's

influence, Jazz's emotions were especially fragile. "I'm not really ready for a relationship, right now."

"But this is just making out. A relationship can't be based solely on making out." Tucker beamed. The spray seemed to be wearing off and the normal Jazz was finding a way through the fog.

"I agree."

"And even then, what do the two people know about each other?" Jazz shook her head and rubbed her temples. "Tucker, what are you doing here?"

"I…can't recall." He glances out of the window. "Whoa. Look at the time. I need to get going."

"Okay", the girl responded, still unsure as to what just happened. "I'll see you later, Tucker, I guess."

The boy opened the door and walked out.

XxXxXxXxX

Tucker felt himself get slammed against the wall by a pair of hands.

"So, you thought you could get away from me, eh?"

"Mrs. Fenton…"

"For the last time, it's Madeline!"

"Madeline. I just…"

"Maddie! Jazzie! I'm home!" Jack's booming voice reverberated through the house. Seeing this as the perfect distraction, Tucker slipped out of her grasp and ran away.

Maddie took off after him.

"Come here, you hunk o' man!"

As he ran down the stairs, he felt around his pockets. He noticed the bulge in his pants. Was she really turning him on that much? He pulled out the can of Tag and noticed Jack at the front door.

"Tucker. What's…?"

Thinking quickly, Tucker sprayed the large man and hurried out of the front door.

Maddie made it to the bottom of the stairs. As she passed by her husband, she got a whiff of him.

"Jack…I'm soooooo glad to see you."

"Well, that's me; your 'hunk o' man'."

Maddie jumped on him and kissed him ravenously.

XxXxXxXxX

Tucker wiped the sweat from his brow and looked at the can. "This is powerful and dangerous stuff." He gave a glance up to the window of Jazz's room as she walked by. He smiled at her and took another look at the can.

He pocketed it and walked away. "Next time…a smaller spritz."

__

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A/N: This story of mine is, perhaps, the first one to be spun-off from another. Namely chapters 9 and 10 of "Those Ridiculous Commercials" [ by Knowledge in the Hollow Noggin. I felt that the idea of Jazz and Maddie lusting for Tucker was too good to go underexplored. I may have changed a few details, but all in the name of creating good drama. Hopefully, I've done justice to the concept.

Thanks for reading and reviewing and have a nice day.


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